I’m sure as a parent you’ve asked your child this question in one way or another. Who doesn’t? It’s a common question you’ll ask a child anyways to somehow know what’s on their mind and what dreams they want to pursue in life, isn’t it?
I myself asked my daughters this question more times than I can remember and I remember them changing from one profession to another depending from who they’ve been with during those times. At one time, it was a doctor–because my sister, who’s a doctor, came to visit us. Another time, it was a teacher–they just talked to my Mother-in-Law, who’s a teacher. Do you see the logic and how the people around them influence them in way or another? I answer every time with a look that’s somehow saying, “Good girl!”.
Then there’s this instance where I overheard her saying over in one of her online classes that she wanted to be a YouTuber when she grows up. After class, while we talked about how her class went (our usual routine) but she didn’t mention that part. I then asked her about it as she might just forgotten to tell that part on purpose.
Here’s when things went wrong. When I tried asking her about it and if she really wants to be a YouTuber, I reacted in a giggling, like teasing way where I knew that she knew that it’s not up to my expectation. I knew right then and there that I did the wrong approach though she simply answered yes with a smile.
My presumption was confirmed when I checked her activity on their school app and saw that she changed her ambition to becoming a Teacher. As a parent who thinks critically and someone who wanted to change the way the usual parent think based on what is the norm, I felt terrible. What’s wrong with being a YouTuber? It’s a decent job where people earn doing creative things. It’s a legal way of bringing food to the table too. So why is it seems not an acceptable profession until now? Is it because our society tells us more on how to be an employee or that being a doctor, engineer, or attorney is the only way where you can have a good life and earn a better living?
One of the main responsibilities of a parent is to support their child. That being said, in any way they want to be, and not to control them. While most parents may retaliate saying that they only want the best for their child to their defense, well, a child pursuing a life that they aren’t happy about just to please their parents isn’t the best for them either. I guess there’s much more into that kind of reasoning why most parents act that way. One great reason behind this is growing up themselves, they might have not been able to pursue the dream they want for themselves due to less opportunities or that they had the same experience from their own parents, therefore, the dream was just passed on to their children.
Are dreams can really be passed on like a piece of fortune as an inheritance? Aren’t we born uniquely from each other that we each have ambitions, dreams, and skills of our own that we want to achieve in life? If this problem wants to be addressed, the only way is to not stop working on who you want to be even after being a parent. Most parents, especially mothers, tend to stop their life once they got children. Their life mainly revolves within motherhood that they forget their own identity. I’m not saying that you should give up on your responsibilities as a parent so you could work on your dreams, but rather to use your children as motivation and inspiration to be who you want to be despite the circumstances instead just abandoning your dreams.
It may not be easy, and you might encounter more hurdles than what you would have had if you’re still single such as having not much time in a day, to name a few, but know that with the use of proper scheduling and other ways on how to dealing with self-care nothing is impossible. Caring for yourself and what you want to be is one legacy you would want leave for your children. Showing them by example how to have courage to pursue what you want in life and finding ways to live your dream is something they’ll bring to their adulthood.
So, what’s your takeaway on this?
Well, I hope the next time you ask your child what they want to be and they answer anything their passionate about (as long as its not illegal), don’t immediately brush it off. Support them instead and know that its what they’ll be happy doing is where they’ll find success as well. It isn’t always about the money you earn that would make you happy in life always but it’s about living your passion in life.
And as for you, as a parent and a mother, I hope you try to find ways to make your time for yourself and your passion as well. Your maternal instincts are within you. Being able to realising that there’s no better way of showing your love and care for your family but by being at your best element is often disregarded. I hope you don’t forget that there’s “YOU” before you had a family and children and that “YOU” can still dream and work on that dream.
Article contributed by: Jeannine
She is a Filipina mother of two girls ages 7 and 6. She’s a Singapore blogger who worked in the Finance field before hanging her hat from the corporate world to focus more in her family and raising her children.
She uses her blog to raise awareness on the importance of self-care to women especially mothers. You can join her in seeking your the discomforts as a mother through Self-Care and be able to pursue your own dreams as well. Check her Instagram: @themommywithagoal or join the tribe HERE for Self-Care tips and positivity in life and mindset.
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